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Beware of this one!
Please be careful. I don't know how
many of you shop at Costco, but this
may be useful to know. I have become
a victim of a clever scam while out
shopping. This happened to me and it
could happen to you. The victims are
always males, so ladies, please
pass this information along.
Here's how the scam works...
Two seriously good-looking
18-year-old girls come over to your
car as you are packing your shopping
in the trunk. They both start wiping
your windshield with a rag and Windex,
with their breasts almost falling out
of their skimpy T-shirts. It is
impossible not to look.
When
you thank them and offer them a tip,
they say 'No' and instead ask you for
a ride to another store. You agree
and they get in the back seat. On
the way, they start having sex with
each other.
Then one of them climbs over into the
front seat and performs oral sex on
you, while the other one steals your
wallet.
I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday,
Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again
on Saturday, yesterday, and most
likely again tomorrow
________________________________________
I like you. You remind me of when
I was young and stupid.
I'm not being rude. You're just
insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape
over your mouth.
It might look like I'm doing nothing,
but at the cellular level I'm really
quite busy.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and
challenged by your unique point of
view.
The fact that no one understands you
doesn't mean you're an artist
Any connection between your reality
and mine is purely coincidental
I have plenty of talent and vision. I
just don't care.
I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a
lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my
duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for
good.
How about never? Is never good for
you?
I'm really easy to get along with once
you people learn to worship me
You sound reasonable...Time to up my
medication
I'll try being nicer if you'll try
being smarter.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to
room.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job
without my toys!
At least I have a positive attitude
about my destructive habits.
I see you've set aside this special
time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this,
laugh nervously and change the
subject.
Things To Say If You Get Caught
Sleeping At Your Desk
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating
on the mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of
highly effective people!"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool
resistance"
Things to ponder
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
The pen is mightier than the sword --
if the sword is very small and the pen
is real sharp.
If you throw a cat out a car window,
does it become kitty litter?
Call me insane one more time and I'll
eat your other eye!
"I love cats...they taste just like
chicken"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks
you're an idiot."
"Jack Kevorkian for White House
Physician"
"I want to die in my sleep like my
grandfather.... Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his
car...."
"Your kid may be an honor student but
you're still an IDIOT!"
"I souport publik edekasion"
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is
Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
Japanese
scientists have created a camera with
such a fast Shutter
speed,
they now can photograph a woman with
her mouth shut |
